Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Fragile
My mood lately is best described as fragile. I get to the office most mornings in a good mood, ready to rock, and have been pretty productive most of the time. But it only takes one bad conversation or turn of events to get me stuck, not wanting to do anything but sit around reading blogs and fucking off all day. I'm trying to combat this, but it's certainly a point of some concern with me since I have battled depression off and on for years. I don't get depressed, just a general malaise will creep over me and I find it difficult to finish anything or become really engaged once something gets me off track. I guess I need to get back to exercising regularly, that will likely help. I've just not been as obsessive about that as I was last year, and it shows in my waistline. I don't want to slip back into the dark times, but I can feel them around the corner. I need to go ride my bike.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Help me raise money and promote good art!
So you know I'm doing this play, right? Well, we've gotten hooked up with this outfit called Network for Good, which is an organization started by Kevin Bacon to promote grassroots philanthropy, and I've added this nice little HTML badge to the side of the page here to help promote people clicking through and giving money. If we raise a big pile of money in the next two weeks, Kevin will give us even more money! Yeah, if we're one of the top six donation-getters by March 31, Kevin will give us $10K!
So click the banner on the side of the page and help me raise money to do this show!
Please, and thank you.
So click the banner on the side of the page and help me raise money to do this show!
Please, and thank you.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Into the fire...
Yeah, this is the week from hell. I got back from SETC, sick as a dog. I have no idea how I managed to present my three workshops, but I'm sure it was funny watching the feverish, stoned fat guy meander around a topic while trying not to fall over. I spent most of the conference in bed when I wasn't teaching. I had no idea there were that many variants of Law and Order and CSI, and they're ALL available on hotel cable!
Then I get back to finish focus and programming for Crucible. I get everything written, the SM and I get the director in to look at things, and he starts CUTTING cues! I love that! Usually they want a ton of extra stuff that I haven't planned for and that no one has told me about, but Matty decided instead to take out a bunch of spacer blackouts that I had put in for set changes and just let things flow better. It was great. There was still some tweaking that had to take place as I went through tech Sunday night, but nothing huge. I also still haven't seen Act IV, although I've designed looks for it and written cues for it, so that's a touch worrisome. If it turns out to look good without me ever seeing the play, I'll be even more insufferable. I also found out that my Les Mis schedule isn't as hellish as I thought - I'll be able to get back over to Crucible tomorrow night for touchup and things, so that leaves me in a much better place than I thought I would be.
My place in the universe is further improved by the fact that a check for the first half of my fee was waiting for me when I walked into the theatre Sunday. It's always nice to be paid promptly.
Les Mis focus was tonight, and it went pretty smoothly. The house plot in that venue is very flexible, and I've worked within it enough times to get a lot out of it, so I changed out a little color, called the front of house focus, threw a bunch of patterns in the air and called it art.
One thing I'm really doing a lot with in this show is patterns for texture, just out of focus breakup gobos to keep away any impression of smooth lighting. The France of this play is a very dirty, shaowy place, and I'm working with lighting to enhance that mood even more by breaking up the light every chance I get. I think it will add a lot to the show, and give it a very distinctive look about the play. I've also got some neat projection things going on in Crucible that I'm very pleased with, and some great play of light and shadow on scenic elements and actors.
Tomorrow moring I go in from 8AM - 1PM for a cue writing session, and hope I'll be able to get most of the show written in that length of time. We then break for lunch, come back a 2PM for a 3PM rehearsal, and theoretically are finished at 7PM for the day. That's a pretty hard number, since it's a union house and anything over 5 hours with the crew goes into serious overtime charges.
So at 7 I'll boogie over to Crucible and see what's shaking there. I might take a few minutes to eat first, though. I think any touch-up focus I do will happen Wednesday night after our rehearsal, as Crucible should be done with me by then and I'll have a more complete idea of everything that needs be done to make Les Mis as good as I can make it.
It's more than the money, although it's very nice of these places to throw me a few bucks to play with lights on their behalf. It's about pride at this point. I've taken plenty of gigs that noone ever sees or notices the lighting, but a big musical like Les Mis, expecially the first local production of the show ever (even if it is by a high school, it's a good high school) requires everything I can give it. I decided a long time ago that if my name's in the program, it doesn't matter if it's community theatre, high school, professional theatre, volunteer theatre or the highest paid gig of my life, it gets everything I can give it. I just don't think it's fair to give anything less.
When I directed Much Ado About Nothing, a production that was thoroughly adored by audiences and loathed by critics, one of my actors asked me on opening night (when we were all out drinking and celebrating the opening) how I knew when I "got it right." I told her I never knew if I'd gotten it right for anyone else, but for me, I knew I'd gotten it right when the show opened, and I felt a profound emptiness inside myself as I watch my actors take the stage, like there was absolutely nothing left of myself to give to the process.
That's how I know I've gotten it right, when I'm empty on opening night. The joy of watching the show to fruition fills me back up again and then some, but when I feel all hollow inside right before curtain, I know I've done my best. I try to feel that way about every show. Sometimes I get there, sometimes I get in my own way and I don't get there, but it's good to just give it everything you've got. Because that's my measure of success. If I've held nothing back, then I've done a good job, no matter if anyone in the world sees it or likes it.
I don't really know where all that came from, but it's all pretty true. I've felt more energized about theatre in the past month than I have in the past two years, so I guess I'm blaming Chris and that merry band of degenerates we've assembled down in The Rock.
Then I get back to finish focus and programming for Crucible. I get everything written, the SM and I get the director in to look at things, and he starts CUTTING cues! I love that! Usually they want a ton of extra stuff that I haven't planned for and that no one has told me about, but Matty decided instead to take out a bunch of spacer blackouts that I had put in for set changes and just let things flow better. It was great. There was still some tweaking that had to take place as I went through tech Sunday night, but nothing huge. I also still haven't seen Act IV, although I've designed looks for it and written cues for it, so that's a touch worrisome. If it turns out to look good without me ever seeing the play, I'll be even more insufferable. I also found out that my Les Mis schedule isn't as hellish as I thought - I'll be able to get back over to Crucible tomorrow night for touchup and things, so that leaves me in a much better place than I thought I would be.
My place in the universe is further improved by the fact that a check for the first half of my fee was waiting for me when I walked into the theatre Sunday. It's always nice to be paid promptly.
Les Mis focus was tonight, and it went pretty smoothly. The house plot in that venue is very flexible, and I've worked within it enough times to get a lot out of it, so I changed out a little color, called the front of house focus, threw a bunch of patterns in the air and called it art.
One thing I'm really doing a lot with in this show is patterns for texture, just out of focus breakup gobos to keep away any impression of smooth lighting. The France of this play is a very dirty, shaowy place, and I'm working with lighting to enhance that mood even more by breaking up the light every chance I get. I think it will add a lot to the show, and give it a very distinctive look about the play. I've also got some neat projection things going on in Crucible that I'm very pleased with, and some great play of light and shadow on scenic elements and actors.
Tomorrow moring I go in from 8AM - 1PM for a cue writing session, and hope I'll be able to get most of the show written in that length of time. We then break for lunch, come back a 2PM for a 3PM rehearsal, and theoretically are finished at 7PM for the day. That's a pretty hard number, since it's a union house and anything over 5 hours with the crew goes into serious overtime charges.
So at 7 I'll boogie over to Crucible and see what's shaking there. I might take a few minutes to eat first, though. I think any touch-up focus I do will happen Wednesday night after our rehearsal, as Crucible should be done with me by then and I'll have a more complete idea of everything that needs be done to make Les Mis as good as I can make it.
It's more than the money, although it's very nice of these places to throw me a few bucks to play with lights on their behalf. It's about pride at this point. I've taken plenty of gigs that noone ever sees or notices the lighting, but a big musical like Les Mis, expecially the first local production of the show ever (even if it is by a high school, it's a good high school) requires everything I can give it. I decided a long time ago that if my name's in the program, it doesn't matter if it's community theatre, high school, professional theatre, volunteer theatre or the highest paid gig of my life, it gets everything I can give it. I just don't think it's fair to give anything less.
When I directed Much Ado About Nothing, a production that was thoroughly adored by audiences and loathed by critics, one of my actors asked me on opening night (when we were all out drinking and celebrating the opening) how I knew when I "got it right." I told her I never knew if I'd gotten it right for anyone else, but for me, I knew I'd gotten it right when the show opened, and I felt a profound emptiness inside myself as I watch my actors take the stage, like there was absolutely nothing left of myself to give to the process.
That's how I know I've gotten it right, when I'm empty on opening night. The joy of watching the show to fruition fills me back up again and then some, but when I feel all hollow inside right before curtain, I know I've done my best. I try to feel that way about every show. Sometimes I get there, sometimes I get in my own way and I don't get there, but it's good to just give it everything you've got. Because that's my measure of success. If I've held nothing back, then I've done a good job, no matter if anyone in the world sees it or likes it.
I don't really know where all that came from, but it's all pretty true. I've felt more energized about theatre in the past month than I have in the past two years, so I guess I'm blaming Chris and that merry band of degenerates we've assembled down in The Rock.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Working Act I
2-rehearsal day for me, as I had an afternoon run-through of Les Mis to watch. At some point I should listen to the soundtrack, since I'm one of the very few theatre people with more than a decade's experience who has never seen or heard the soundtrack to Les Mis. The arts magnet school has hired a new scenic designer this year, and the set is way farther along than it usually is at this point. It's a good-looking set, too, with the giant turntable to rotate the set, some neat cut drops, and a bunch of shit all over the barricade. It's still a high school show at heart, though, so there are some things not done, some kids don't know their lines, and there's a pretty high potential for disaster between now and opening night, but I think it will turn out to be a good show.
Then our first real working rehearsal for Shrew was tonight. It felt good to get on my feet and try some things. I'm working on posture and balance right now, trying to feel what this Petruchio walks like and moves like, and that'll take me a little while to figure out. Things like character development and movement will develop slowly over the next few weeks as I try to learn all these damn lines. I think the next thing for me to work on is improvising in iambic pentameter.
Southeastern Theatre Conference is this weekend, and as State Representative for North Carolina, I forgot that I'm on the board. I'm also presenting three workshops - one on troubleshooting a lighting system, one on selecting a new light board for your theatre, and one on new lighting products. I've done these workshops before in different formats, and actually wrote up an article on choosing a new light board on my church lighting website, so they won't be too bad. I'll have to do a little outline work for those, though.
With SETC and tech for Crucible and Les Mis, I'm going to miss the next week and change of rehearsals, which I hate, but SETC is a work thing and the shows I'm designing pay for my summer vacations, so they're pretty damn important as well. So that's life here for now.
Then our first real working rehearsal for Shrew was tonight. It felt good to get on my feet and try some things. I'm working on posture and balance right now, trying to feel what this Petruchio walks like and moves like, and that'll take me a little while to figure out. Things like character development and movement will develop slowly over the next few weeks as I try to learn all these damn lines. I think the next thing for me to work on is improvising in iambic pentameter.
Southeastern Theatre Conference is this weekend, and as State Representative for North Carolina, I forgot that I'm on the board. I'm also presenting three workshops - one on troubleshooting a lighting system, one on selecting a new light board for your theatre, and one on new lighting products. I've done these workshops before in different formats, and actually wrote up an article on choosing a new light board on my church lighting website, so they won't be too bad. I'll have to do a little outline work for those, though.
With SETC and tech for Crucible and Les Mis, I'm going to miss the next week and change of rehearsals, which I hate, but SETC is a work thing and the shows I'm designing pay for my summer vacations, so they're pretty damn important as well. So that's life here for now.
Crucible
Had a little help from Phil and Tresa working on Crucible this weekend, which allowed me to get a lot more done than I would typically have been able to accomplish in one day. Also, a kid named Andrew who was my spotlight operator for Chorus Line came by and did yeoman's work for me as well. It's way mo' better when I have help and don't have to haul my fat ass up the ladder all the time. It's better for me, and better for the ladder, too. I got most of that show created and complete, so that will help a bunch with tech next week. If I can get that show pretty much finished on Sunday, I can focus on Les Mis the rest of the week and both directors will be happy. Well, as happy as directors get.
Rehearsal tonight for Shrew and we actually get to start working on things, so I'm looking forward to that.
Rehearsal tonight for Shrew and we actually get to start working on things, so I'm looking forward to that.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Ghosts in the hall...
Driving back to Rock Hill I can see them. One southern, one Oxford proper. Both gone, but not forgotten. One standing, coffee mug in hand, foot propped up on a chair with his cowboy boots on and motorcycle helmet sitting on the floor beside his chair, starting every answer with a "Weeeeelllll," The other, sitting in the back of a darkened theatre, occassionally piping up with "Ahem. Michael? Ahem. That's a dick joke," in the crispest, most proper British.
Dennis Kay was the assistant director and dramaturg the last time I came off acting hiatus with The Taming of the Shrew. He was a warm and caring man and made everyone feel like their part was important, even if you only played the drunk guy in Act 5. He had time to teach you what those tripping words meant, and never condescended. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer during our opening week. He made it out of the hospital to see the last performance, but died soon after that. In my too-brief time working with Dennis I got to see a love for Shakespeare, and a love for language, that I'd never known in another person.
Blair I knew longer, and better. He was my college advisor, my directing professor, my mentor. He helped me get sober when my head was fucked my junior year and I couldn't get it straight without getting straight. He'd battled those demons already, and was winning, so he knew the fight I was fighting. He kicked my ass, yelled at me, cajoled, persuaded, and generally rode my ass through four years of college. The entire department called him "Daddy B," and for good reason. We were his kids.
We kept in touch a little after I graduated, and I renewed that contact when I started Off-Tryon. I realized how much of his teachings stuck with me when I could laugh and hear my voice giving his directing notes. He could do it all - design, act, direct, tech - and he instilled the value in that in me. He was a cantankerous old bastard, and made me stronger and more stubborn by fighting with me. He was a loving man, and I miss him every time I drive down I-77 to rehearsal, because this will be a show he'd be proud of. Three of us in this show are his kids, and we always will be, even though his pack-a-day habit finally caught up to him.
These are the ghosts in my rehearsal hall. Most of the time they're smiling. But I haven't tried to get off book yet. I have a feeling they'll come back to kick my ass in about three weeks. I feel these guys in this play, Dennis because he was part of it the first time I did it, and Blair because I haven't acted in Rock Hill since his death, and he was such a part of the Winthrop and Rock Hill Community. Somewhere, I think they're looking forward to opening night even more than I am.
Dennis Kay was the assistant director and dramaturg the last time I came off acting hiatus with The Taming of the Shrew. He was a warm and caring man and made everyone feel like their part was important, even if you only played the drunk guy in Act 5. He had time to teach you what those tripping words meant, and never condescended. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer during our opening week. He made it out of the hospital to see the last performance, but died soon after that. In my too-brief time working with Dennis I got to see a love for Shakespeare, and a love for language, that I'd never known in another person.
Blair I knew longer, and better. He was my college advisor, my directing professor, my mentor. He helped me get sober when my head was fucked my junior year and I couldn't get it straight without getting straight. He'd battled those demons already, and was winning, so he knew the fight I was fighting. He kicked my ass, yelled at me, cajoled, persuaded, and generally rode my ass through four years of college. The entire department called him "Daddy B," and for good reason. We were his kids.
We kept in touch a little after I graduated, and I renewed that contact when I started Off-Tryon. I realized how much of his teachings stuck with me when I could laugh and hear my voice giving his directing notes. He could do it all - design, act, direct, tech - and he instilled the value in that in me. He was a cantankerous old bastard, and made me stronger and more stubborn by fighting with me. He was a loving man, and I miss him every time I drive down I-77 to rehearsal, because this will be a show he'd be proud of. Three of us in this show are his kids, and we always will be, even though his pack-a-day habit finally caught up to him.
These are the ghosts in my rehearsal hall. Most of the time they're smiling. But I haven't tried to get off book yet. I have a feeling they'll come back to kick my ass in about three weeks. I feel these guys in this play, Dennis because he was part of it the first time I did it, and Blair because I haven't acted in Rock Hill since his death, and he was such a part of the Winthrop and Rock Hill Community. Somewhere, I think they're looking forward to opening night even more than I am.
Day 2 - read it again
In the second read-thru, people mostly know how to pronounce things, although we have a couple of folks who are shaky on some of the names, and my Latin is nonexistent. A few character things can start to be glimpsed, and occassionally people will get up and move as the spirit moves them. It's starting to get interesting.
One of the neat things our director has done is gender-bend the role of Grumio, Petruchio's manservant. Now she's Grumia, my portable wench. It adds a different layer to the interaction of the characters, and I think that will be fun to explore as time goes on. It also adds a couple layers to Grumio(a)'s interactions with Kate, which is also fun. It's good to be having fun doing this again, and it's really good not to be in charge of it all. I can't help but interject myself, because I'm a mouthy bastard, but the ultimate responsibility isn't mine, and I'm happy 'bout that.
Here's some photos to let you check out the cast.
<------Nick plays Tranio, Lucentio's manservant that masquerades as Lucentio to help him win the fair Bianca (or fair Binaca as one of the script typos reads).
Jimmy plays Gremio, one of the many other----> suitors to Bianca. He ends up with no booty at the end of the show. Poor bastard.
<----Our Fearless Leader, Chris will also play the role of Baptista Minola, father to Kate and Binaca.
The prettiest Kate in all of Christendom---->
Randal and Nicole play Vincentio and the Widow. Yeah, there might have been a little drinkin' after rehearsal last night. It's always a bit hazardous to your health when there's a pub directly across the street from the rehearsal venue.
I'll have more photos tomorrow, and I'll dump a bunch onto my flickr here in a few minutes.
One of the neat things our director has done is gender-bend the role of Grumio, Petruchio's manservant. Now she's Grumia, my portable wench. It adds a different layer to the interaction of the characters, and I think that will be fun to explore as time goes on. It also adds a couple layers to Grumio(a)'s interactions with Kate, which is also fun. It's good to be having fun doing this again, and it's really good not to be in charge of it all. I can't help but interject myself, because I'm a mouthy bastard, but the ultimate responsibility isn't mine, and I'm happy 'bout that.
Here's some photos to let you check out the cast.
<------Nick plays Tranio, Lucentio's manservant that masquerades as Lucentio to help him win the fair Bianca (or fair Binaca as one of the script typos reads).
Jimmy plays Gremio, one of the many other----> suitors to Bianca. He ends up with no booty at the end of the show. Poor bastard.
<----Our Fearless Leader, Chris will also play the role of Baptista Minola, father to Kate and Binaca.
The prettiest Kate in all of Christendom---->
Randal and Nicole play Vincentio and the Widow. Yeah, there might have been a little drinkin' after rehearsal last night. It's always a bit hazardous to your health when there's a pub directly across the street from the rehearsal venue.
I'll have more photos tomorrow, and I'll dump a bunch onto my flickr here in a few minutes.
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Wednesday, February 28, 2007
The Crucible
Did I mention that I'm a bit of a masochist? In addition to taking the leading role in this little Shakespeare thing going on in April, I'm also still doing the whole freelance design thing. So last night I went to watch a run through of The Crucible, which is my next project. Or one of my next projects, rather, as I'll be bouncing between rehearsals for the Arthur Miller masterpiece of depression and Les Miserable, that Victor Hugo ode to a loaf of bread.
They open the same night.
I mentioned that I'm a bit of an idiot on top a masochist, right? So my plan is to get Crucible hung and focused this weekend, and maybe even programmed, so that lighting can be completely done before I leave town next week to attend the Southeastern Theatre Conference, where I'm teaching three workshops that I know nothing about and freaking out over the ridiculous number of words I have to remember while doing more situps than Jack Lalane for I'll be more Petruchio than Pe-tubby-o in April.
I might be freaking out a little.
They open the same night.
I mentioned that I'm a bit of an idiot on top a masochist, right? So my plan is to get Crucible hung and focused this weekend, and maybe even programmed, so that lighting can be completely done before I leave town next week to attend the Southeastern Theatre Conference, where I'm teaching three workshops that I know nothing about and freaking out over the ridiculous number of words I have to remember while doing more situps than Jack Lalane for I'll be more Petruchio than Pe-tubby-o in April.
I might be freaking out a little.
Monday, February 26, 2007
First read-thru
So the good news is that I think I can probably still do this acting thing. The better news is that it's a good cast. And even better, it feels fun again. It's been a long time since theatre was fun, and that's what I've missed.
I enjoy lighting, and I get satisfaction out of making pretty pictures with lighting, but it's not what I'd call fun. It's also largely solitary, with input really only from the director and the other designers. I never really feel like a part of the ensemble as a lighting designer, because I'm not. Those people have been owrking very closely together for weeks to build something that I'm coming into at the last minute. Even the tightness of the crew is something I don't experience, because I'm not on headset with them and not in there every night working to make it happen. I do my bit, get my check, go on my merry way.
This is different. I'm going to spend the next two months with these people. Roughly five nights a week. I'm in the middle of this, not on the edges. It felt good to be there again.
I enjoy lighting, and I get satisfaction out of making pretty pictures with lighting, but it's not what I'd call fun. It's also largely solitary, with input really only from the director and the other designers. I never really feel like a part of the ensemble as a lighting designer, because I'm not. Those people have been owrking very closely together for weeks to build something that I'm coming into at the last minute. Even the tightness of the crew is something I don't experience, because I'm not on headset with them and not in there every night working to make it happen. I do my bit, get my check, go on my merry way.
This is different. I'm going to spend the next two months with these people. Roughly five nights a week. I'm in the middle of this, not on the edges. It felt good to be there again.
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It all starts again
I was three years ago the last time I walked across the stage as an actor. It was more like 16 the last time I carried the leading male role in a show. It's never happened in a Shakespeare play. To say I'm a little concerned with my ability to pull this off would be an understatement. It's not the acting that I'm sweating. If I can pull off a $100 bluff on the river with nothing but a busted Queen-high flush draw I can handle the acting part of it. It's more the looking retarded because I'm old, fat and out of shape and here I am supposed to be Petruchio.
You're welcome to follow along and see how it goes. I'll try to document the process the best I can.
Day 1 - Fuck me, that's a lot of words.
You're welcome to follow along and see how it goes. I'll try to document the process the best I can.
Day 1 - Fuck me, that's a lot of words.
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